The BHC Blog
Register a Team
Team by Team
Team by Team
The Bad Hockey Card Blog
This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time.
It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic
relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some
pretty serious shit!
There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them.
So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out
numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they
thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.
September 22nd, 2014
"...and in this corner, Charlie Burns!"
No, Charlie Burns isn't getting ready to be somebody's sparring
partner in the ring, that's actually a hockey helmet. Charlie had a serious head
injury in junior and actually had a plate in his head, thus the extra padded
helmet. He was actually one of the early pioneers of helmet use, though it
still took a while for the practice to catch on with the rest of the league. A
quick look at this hockey card illustrates why players may have been a tad
reluctant to don head gear.
September 15th, 2014
Don't Feed The Animals! #2
HOLY SHIT MAN, THAT'S A RHINO!!!
September 5th, 2014
Don't Feed The Animals!
Yeah, so this is Dean McAmmond feeding deer on a snowmobile. You
may be asking what that has to do with hockey, and I'm sorry to say that I don't
have an answer for you. This isn't even from one of those weird "Be A
Player" sets that for some reason celebrate the player's lives away from
the game, but rather from a standard issue set otherwise featuring guys playing
hockey. However, someone decided that to shake things up, perhaps they could
show a couple of cards featuring players randomly feeding animals. If you're in
to that, stick around for the next exciting entry in this series...
September 4th, 2014
Another pair of airbrushing atrocities from the 89-90 set, these
cards are less about the jersey than changing the colour of the helmet.
Unfortunately, those helmets came off a little too "digital", and are
extremely reminiscent of the helmets worn in the original Tron movie. As it
happens, they actually wore hockey helmets in that movie which doesn't exactly
hurt the comparison.
September 2nd, 2014
Cup Check! #2
Once again we have an outstanding picture of a nut shot, and is
there anything in this world more entertaining, really? There is
little doubt from Kevin MacKay's expression that this one landed, either. He was
surely singing soprano after this game.
July 3rd, 2014
The Blue Flame
For those that aren't familiar with the term (which is pretty much
everyone who isn't an immature male), a blue flame is when you use a lighter to
ignite one's...umm...flatulence. I honestly never thought I'd see the practice
performed on a hockey card, but then again, you see something new every
day. Congrats to you, Jarno Peltonen, for breaking boundaries.
June 29th, 2014
Olaf Kolzig's Wiener
I'm not touching this joke with a ten foot...uh...pole.
June 27th, 2014
After School Special
The two cards below appear to tell a cautionary tale about the
dangers of life in pro hockey. On the left you have a young, fresh faced Trevor
Kidd, likely on draft day. He looks like a future librarian or some other
upstanding young citizen, full of hopes and dreams. On the right you have what
looks like a broken down, hard living, and hard drinking Trevor Kidd who looks
like he might be auditioning for the role of Rooster Cogburn in the next remake
of True Grit. Yikes! Stay in school, kids.
June 23rd, 2014
Two Heads Are Better Than One
It turns out that there really are monsters in hockey. Huge
two-headed mutants that carry a stick in each hand. Even the Whalers logo looks
freakishly mutated in this fortuitously lined up image as Jim Sandlak and Brad
McCrimmon appear to merge. Creepy but cool!
June 20th, 2014
Black Tie Hockey
This is a 1991 draft set from Arena that takes another stab at
solving the issue of not having licenses to reproduce team logos. Their answer
was to dress all of the players in tuxedos. I suppose they were hoping these
players would come off looking like James Bond...in hockey gear! I chose this
one particularly as they decided to pair up Scott Lachance and Pat Falloon for
some unbeknownst reason. The happy couple also make for a wonderful tribute to
the famous Grant Wood painting American
June 16th, 2014
Serious Knee Injuries Always Make The Best Hockey Cards
With just a quick glance at this card you might think it's a
standard action picture, but take a closer look at the expression on Dominic
Roussel's face and you can understand what he's feeling at the moment...and it
June 12th, 2014
The vast majority of NHL players have nicknames. Kraft Dinner,
which annually puts out a hockey card set (no wonder KD is so popular in
Canada), thought it might be a cool thing to include some player nicknames with
this particular set. What could go wrong? Well, enter Darren Puppa,
affectionately known as "Poops". Food companies and fecal matter; a winning
June 10th, 2014
Caution: Sharp Corners
The bottom left corner of this card subset is actually cut out
(die-cut is the official term), as though they took a jigsaw to it, giving it
numerous sharp edges. This is a great feature if you would like a little more of
the element of danger from your card collecting. Maybe that's where the
"Extreme" comes from in the Onyx Extreme name. But not to worry, a
quick check of the Beckett Price Guide indicates that cards which have drawn
human blood command a premium.
June 2nd, 2014
Be A (Volleyball) Player
These "Be A Player" cards are quite confounding. The type
of player they are speaking of is a hockey player, yet these cards use NHLers
specifically NOT playing hockey on them. At least they are good for a laugh and
thus they happen to make up a good percentage of entries in the BHC collection.
This particular card features Steve Smith as a beach volleyball player in
denim shorts and nothing else. I'm not sure if anyone ever considered Steve Smith a sex symbol.
Try as he might, I don't think this card got him to that status either.
May 30th, 2014
Where's Waldo? #2
Though this card may not be quite as cluttered as the previous
entry, its subject, Guy Lapointe, still ranks a distant third among the three
people pictured on this card in terms of the percentage of them that is actually
visible. He did win the battle of camera focus, however, and that was good
enough, I suppose. They say there is no place to hide in a hockey game, but some
of these pictures would seem to prove otherwise.