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The Bad Hockey Card Blog

   This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time. It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some pretty serious shit!

   There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them. So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.

May 6th, 2015

Trade Rumours

   This is one of the all-timer's, folks! Here we have Jacques Lemaire pictured in his Buffalo Sabres uniform, with the Sabres name and logo emblazoned at the bottom. There's just one catch- Lemaire never played for Buffalo. He didn't even go there in a paper transaction. This card, in fact, was merely the result of a trade rumour during the offseason, and O-Pee-Chee in their brilliance, decided to get a jump on the impending trade of Lemaire from Montreal to Buffalo with a little of their classic airbrushing. The trade didn't happen, but it was too late to stop production and this card went out into the market, making the company look like a bunch of freakin' idiots.

April 28th, 2015

Hairline Inspection

   When you have a receding hairline, there must be nothing better than seeing a photographer get on his step stool and put on a zoom lens to take a close-up of the top of your head. This is certainly the oddest angle you're ever going to see a player portrait taken from. Also take a very close look at the odd three-legged Cougar in the team logo. It's almost like the illustrator ran out of room and turned the back leg into a tail and for some reason made the whole thing double back under the animal. That's commercial design in the 70's for you.

April 20th, 2015

Hockey Canada Hijinx

   Canadian national junior teams are often brought together for a photo day. These aren't on-ice pictures, so rather than take your typical boring studio portraits, they sometimes shake things up with some interesting and downright bizarre shots. Take this one for example. Is Dan Cleary shaving with that skate, or suggesting that he could floss with it between that big ol' gap toothed grin of his? We may never know...or care. Nice glasses though!

April 14th, 2015

Hottie Card!

   It's time for me to give you guys a treat. This one doesn't belong in the Bad Hockey Card Blog so much as the Awesome Hockey Card Blog! Yes, our little Samantha Micelli is all grown up, and looking smoking hot, as it happens. This is part of a set from Pinnacle called "Fans Of The Game" in which they showcase celebrity hockey fans, though the set really pushes the boundaries of what you'd consider celebrity. No complaints on this one however!

April 3rd, 2015

Confused Athletes #2

   With the impending baseball season close to getting underway, I thought this might be a timely addition to the BHCB. Here's Hall Of Fame pitcher Tom Glavine taking a slap shot in his full Atlanta Braves uniform. Like the Steve Nash entry, this appears to be a real fish-out-of-water image. However, what you may not know is that Tom was a star high school hockey player and was drafted by the LA Kings in 1984...two rounds earlier than Brett Hull and five rounds earlier than the Kings would pick Luc Robitaille. Though it would have been cool to see Tom on the ice, I think when he looks back on the choosing of his baseball career, he'll say it actually turned out not too bad. In any case, we'll always have this card to remind us of what could have been!

March 22nd, 2015

Confused Athletes

   With his retirement from professional basketball just announced, I thought it might be a good time to post this entry as a fitting tribute to the great Steve Nash. As a proud Canadian, he also had a certain attachment to hockey, as evidenced by this odd sporting crossover card found in Upper Deck's NBA set. As it turns out, there are other cards out there featuring similarly bizarre mash-ups of different sports that make the athletes in them look like they might just be a bit confused. Stay tuned for more of those to follow. Oh, and after looking at this card, feel free to also throw your favourite goaltending target under the bus with the obligatory remark that "so-and-so couldn't even stop a basketball!".

March 17th, 2015

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Dominik

   Almost unbelievably, we actually have a St. Patrick's Day themed card for this occasion. Well at least that's what I think this card is about. I can't really come up with any other reason as to why Dominik is sporting the green bonnet in this picture, so we're just gonna roll with it. Now go out and celebrate St. Patrick's Day in the proper fashion, by getting drunk and getting into a fist fight. As for me, I suddenly got a hankering for a cool, delicious Shamrock Shake!

March 9th, 2015

You Mean He Wasn't Already?

   This one's a bit of a thinker. The card caption says "Now with Nordiques" to denote his acquisition by the Nordiques from the team who's jersey he is wearing in the card picture...which happens to be the Nordiques. It seems a little redundant, unnecessary, and superfluous. Oh, and also a little redundant!

March 2nd, 2015

How Bats View Hockey Games

   If you've ever wondered what a hockey card pic might look like if it were taken from a satellite, wonder no more! It's funny that the title of this card is "QMJHL Action" considering how little action there actually is in this card. The play is in the other end of the rink which can hardly even be seen. All we have is a very lonely goalie photographed by somebody apparently strapped to one of the building's rafters. To be fair, this is still closer to the ice than I ever get for an NHL game with the cost of even nosebleed tickets being so outrageous these days.

February 23rd, 2015

Wild Eyes

   The first time I saw this card I said "HOLY CRAP!". Those are some powerfully bright eyes ya got there, Norm. Not to mention a hypnotic gaze. It's almost freaky!

February 16th, 2015

Midget Gets A Hockey Card #2

   I'll bet after the last entry that you didn't think they could screw up the picture sizing any worse. How wrong you were! The amount of negative space in this card is shocking. "Shocking Pink" that is! Nice colour choice, guys. It hasn't escaped my notice that both of these examples are of Canuck players. Maybe they just had a REALLY small team that year.

February 9th, 2015

Midget Gets A Hockey Card

   Something seriously wrong happened when it came time to size the picture for this hockey card. Just for comparison's sake, check out this earlier BHCB entry from this same set. Yes, the head has been transplanted in a terribly botched cut and paste job, but at least the player fills up the appropriate space on the card. Poor Dunc Wilson here looks like he could barely reach the crossbar on an NHL net.

February 3rd, 2015

It's All About The Helmet!

   Every time I think I've seen it all, something else comes along that just makes me shake my head. This happens to come from a series named Hard Hats where a large part of the card's focus, unbelievably, is a hockey helmet. In fact they should probably just take Pavel right off this card. The helmet clearly is the star here! Sigh...

January 27th, 2015

That's Gonna Leave A Mark!

   Poor Adam Burt caught one in the nose just as the shutter snapped to make this unforgettable hockey card. Well, at least it's unforgettable for the rest of us. Adam Burt, for some reason, has no recollection of this event at all!

January 21st, 2015

Chippy - The Mascot You Just Want To Punch In The Face

   In 1997, Upper Deck introduced us to a new mascot named Chippy. As it turns out, Chippy is one preachy son-of-a-bitch. He appears on the set checklists giving shitty tips on collecting, and shilling for the company, of course. Also, if you're wondering what Patrick Roy has to do with this card, the answer is nothing.

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