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This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time.
It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic
relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some
pretty serious shit!
There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them.
So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out
numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they
thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.
April 6th, 2016
They Did This On Porpoise!
I honestly didn't think that Jason Arnott would ever be able to
surpass his fantastic waterslide
card. Yet, to my surprise, the Be A Player brand goes and hits another one out of the park! Here's Jason (pictured left)
having a close encounter with a dolphin (pictured right). Apparently the two
struck up quite a friendship and remain pen pals to this day.
March 28th, 2016
It's So Sad 3D Hockey Cards Never Took Off
This is a pretty interesting entry from the WHA days of the Quebec
Nordiques. Richard Brodeur is apparently inventing the "Talk to the
hand" gesture in this card photo. Back in the day, they didn't even have on
ice photos for everyone, so photographers would occasionally come up with
something more interesting to look at. We get an up close and personal look at
King Richard's glove hand (Ya gotta love those classic 70's era pads!), while
the rest of him remains somewhat out of the field of focus. You have to at least
them some points for trying!
March 22nd, 2016
That's Gonna Leave A Mark!
Yeah, that's why we wear helmets. Keeping in line with the theme of
stick fouls put forth by the previous BHCB entry, we proudly submit the this
truly epic picture of Elmer "Moose" Vasko getting tattooed on the
forehead by a hockey stick! You can really see by the expression on his face how
much he is enjoying this chance encounter with a piece of lumber. Also check out
the straightness of that blade. Even the toe is completely squared off! Back in
the old days it was hip to be square.
March 15th, 2016
A Close Shave
Bobby Clarke was known as one of the nastiest players in an age of
nasty players. He's depicted here about to decapitate his Czech opponent in the
'76 Canada Cup. This card is titled "Fast & Furious". The emphasis
is clearly on the furious part of things.
March 8th, 2016
Awkward Workout Photos #2
We all know that Wendel Clark was a beast when it came to strength.
And in hockey circles, strength is cool. So why is it that this card of Wendel
Clark with a weight is the very antithesis of cool? This picture is just awkward
February 29th, 2016
"WHY YOU LITTLE...!!!"
Happy Leap Year, folks! Here's Dale Hawerchuk pretend strangling his son on the front of
hockey card. At least we hope that's actually his kid. It seems like an odd pose
choice but then again we've seen a lot of strange things so far through this
journey at the BHCB. Homer Simpson would be proud!
February 22nd, 2016
Ogie Ogilthorpe Lives!
Most hockey fans consider Slapshot to be the greatest hockey movie
ever made. You may not know this, but one of the great characters in that film,
the infamous Ogie Ogilthorpe, was actually based on a real person. His name was
Bill "Goldie" Goldthorpe, and he was one of the toughest and craziest
mofo's of all time. TSN did a classic feature on him that you can check out
here. This card itself has some real character, what with the splattered
blood and band-aid. His trademark afro alone is worth the price of this
February 15th, 2016
Spot The Error #2
This actually seems like a pretty nice card. It's a good looking action shot of Jonathan Cheechoo
ready to make a big play. So what's the problem? Like with our last entry I'll
give you a minute to puzzle it out. Have a close look at the details of this
card and we'll see if you can spot the flaw. Did you find it yet? Well, here's
the answer; Closer inspection of this card shows Cheechoo getting checked by a
member of the... San Jose Sharks! Yep, it's a strictly frowned upon practice in
the business to take a photo from a team scrimmage and try to pass it off as
actual game footage, but sometimes companies press their luck in the race to get
new rookies into their card sets. Nice try, Upper Deck!
February 9th, 2016
Spot The Error
What's wrong with this picture? I'll give you a moment to spot the
problem, so take a close look. Figure it out yet? And no, I'm not referring to that ugly blob of white spray
paint that some designer thought would really make the finishing touch to this
card design. Check out the vintage Canuck logo Len Lunde is wearing in this
picture. It's actually backwards. The hockey stick is supposed to be coming out
of the other side of the rink, so as to form a "C" for Canucks. The
producers of this card inadvertently reversed the image and never caught the
mistake... or perhaps they thought he'd be more effective as a right-hander?
February 2nd, 2016
Confused Athletes #3
As we head into final week before the Superbowl, it seems like a
fitting time for the third edition of "Confused Athletes" in the BHCB. In
this Upper Deck entry, we have Alex Ovechkin changing sports as he attempts to
launch a Hail Mary in practice. He has long been known for his ability to quarterback
a powerplay in the NHL, so I suppose this is just the next logical step!
January 25th, 2016
Player Eaten by Blob: Story at 11:00!
Not really sure what to say about this one. I never thought I'd
have to describe a hockey card that features a hockey player being attacked by
purple ooze. This is a real head-scratcher of a design concept, and I'm not
really sure what Score was even going for with this idea.
January 18th, 2016
Who Was "Thinkier"?
Tough call on this one. Both players are looking very thoughtful
here. Who doesn't love a good studio portrait? And by that I mean a pretentious,
black and white, heavily shadowed, hand-to-the-chin type deal. I feel smarter
just looking at this!
January 11th, 2016
Let The Tears Luce
Poor Don Luce. I'm not sure if he's so sad in this picture because it's another bad airbrushing job,
or simply because he's now found himself playing for the Maple Leafs. Either
way, this is one of the most depressing looks you're likely to see on a hockey
January 1st, 2016
World Junior Jokers
Yes, this is truly a wonderful time of the year, what with
Christmas, New Year's celebrations, and most importantly the World Junior Hockey
Championships! And naturally with every new year we get an new crop of young
hotshots at this tournament. And as you can see by the bewildering action in
this picture, these guys like to ham it up in front of a camera.
December 21st, 2015
Have A Very Cheesy Christmas!
Christmas is a truly amazing time of year. There are so many great things about it, from spending time with loved ones,
to Christmas dinner, to giving and receiving presents,
to all the great holiday decorations, and so much more. What's not so great about it is this promotional card put out by Upper Deck circa 1992.
This is the single cheesiest thing I've seen, and I'm hard pressed to figure out
as any actual card release how this benefits anybody in any way. However, if you looked at it and got a good chuckle,
then we have our answer. This card's for you! Merry Christmas from the Bad Hockey Card Blog!