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The Bad Hockey Card Blog

   This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time. It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some pretty serious shit!

   There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them. So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.

January 24th, 2017

"Don't Look At Me, I'm A Monster!"

   If there's one thing worse than getting your nose busted up in a hockey game, it's having it happen the day before photo day! Poor Jason Marshall. Oh well, at least his hair looks good!

January 17th, 2017

Product Placement

   Dave Christian, heir to the Christian hockey stick empire started by his father and uncle, gets a little free advertising on this Topps Stadium Club card (TSC has really on fire in the BHCB recently). I wouldn't have guessed that product placement would have been one of the sins of this particular card brand, but they proved me wrong once again. Now we can officially confirm that it's not just movies that are being ruined by this practice.

January 8th, 2017

Behind The Mask

  Donruss tried to get all creative with this one, putting a camera inside a goalie mask to simulate a netminder's view of the action. Perhaps we should award them some points for thinking outside the box or in this case, inside the bucket! Nah, this one just seems like they were trying to hard.

December 14th, 2016

"Okay, Darren, Just Try To Look Natural."

   One can scarcely imagine a more awkward pose than this. The sad thing is that every damn card in this Johnstown Chiefs set looks like this one. I honestly feel like the team tried to do these pics themselves instead of hiring a professional photographer. How hard could it be? "We just need a camera, a wall, a chair, and a player in full gear. This thing will look like a million bucks!", they probably said to one another. They were wrong. These cards are just terrible!

December 8th, 2016

Negative Space

   There seems to be a bit of an issue with the alignment of the picture on this card. Is there a reason that the players are scrunched up on the right side of the image? Two thirds of this card is displaying a vacant ice sheet. At least there's a "Now With Red Wings" notation to take up some of the empty space, but they could have put that on a freakin' billboard and still had some room left over on this card. If George Lucas were in charge of Topps, you just KNOW he'd draw in some god awful CGI creature in that extra space.

November 29th, 2016

Ovechkin Gets Sucked Into Inter-Dimensional Rift

   Try not to look directly at this card, it's not good for your eyes. This is one of the stranger visual effects I have ever seen on a hockey card, and for whatever reason it makes me a bit queasy just to look at. I'm not sure if Ovechkin has been seen since he entered this rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum. Perhaps only he knows what's really on the other side of a black hole.

November 22nd, 2016

Verbeek Goes Hog Wild!

   We've seen a few cards featuring the players' lives away from the game, but few have been less glamorous than this depiction of Pat Verbeek feeding a hog... a rather large one at that. Yep, a lot of these guys were farm boys before they became hockey stars, and they often return to the farm during the off season. Verbeek probably wishes he hadn't after he had his thumb cut off in a farming accident in 1985, but fortunately he was able to find it and get it reattached. With some surgery and rehab, Verbeek amazingly didn't miss any time the following season. Thank goodness the pig didn't find it first!

November 15th, 2016


   When I discovered this card, it instantly became a personal favourite. Here's grumpy old man John Tonelli angrily shaking his fist at some young whippersnapper, probably telling him to get off his lawn. Or maybe he's shouting at Scooby-Doo and his crime solving friends from Mystery Incorporated. "I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!". Maybe he wasn't happy with his GM for shipping him to Chicago. Any way you slice it, this one's a beauty!

November 7th, 2016

Vote Leetch!

   Unless you've been hiding in a cave (on Mars!) for the last year and a half, you know there's a pretty crazy election going on in the US right now. With the candidates of both major parties largely being the most repugnant in history, Upper Deck is offering you a third option... Brian Leetch. Okay, so this Goodwin Champions set was actually from a few years ago and doesn't really have anything to do with politics, but you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. I personally choose to believe that he is delivering an empowering stump speech on this card and giving the people what they really  want... a better choice. Remember, a vote for Leetch is a vote for hockey!

November 1st, 2016

Eric Fehr (and Friends)

   This is an Eric Fehr card... apparently. I'm not sure why he was the one to draw the short straw and have to share his hockey card with an assorted collection of teammates. I guess the rest of these guys either did enough to get their own card, or are so poorly regarded they were never given a card in this set at all. 

October 25th, 2016

Know The Signs Of A Heart Attack

   Poor Theoren Fleury. Hockey can be a pretty stressful game at times and it has been known to lead to heart failure on occasion. This appears to be just one of those occasions as he seems to be in full blown cardiac arrest when this photo was taken. Interestingly, we already posted this card of Brian Bellows apparently having a stroke, so this is a nice addition to a strange subset of serious on ice health issues that we're building. Of course, alternatively, this could be an image of a lone marksmen in the crowd (or grassy knoll?) setting his sights on poor Theo. It's tough enough for a small guy to make it in the NHL without having to deal with snipers in the stands! Either way, it's another classic BHCB entry.

October 18th, 2016

Do You Mind?

   Here we have yet another entry from "Be A Player", the set that shows the lives of NHL'ers away from the rink. This set typically gives an interesting look at the hobbies and pastimes that players get up to, particularly in the off season. This card, however, just showcases Joe Sakic having lunch. Yep, there's nothing more exciting than seeing how our sporting heroes eat their meals! Joe seems mighty pleased about this photographic encounter too! Who wouldn't be?

October 13th, 2016

"Just A Second Guys!"

   Once again we see the unrelenting action of the NHL on full display! Yes, Zigmund Palffy and Joe Alphabet both showcase their skate tying acumen in a pair of hockey cards that should have hit the cutting room floor. Well, at least we can all relate to how awful it is to have to stop an entire game to fix your damn laces. Should've double knotted those!

October 3rd, 2016

Man Crush

   The UD "Be A Player" brand once put out a subset featuring Roy Firestone (for some reason) entitled "Up Close And Personal". However judging by the look of longing that Teemu Sealanne seems to have in this image, one could get the impression that he really wants to get up close and personal with Roy Firestone! It's okay, Teemu, give in to your man crush!

September 27th, 2016

One Man On An Island

   A dejected Nathan MacKinnon sits all alone on a bench in the dressing room. I'm not sure if this was after his team was eliminated or after he received word of his family pet being run over by the neighbors, but either way it seems like a personal moment that probably shouldn't have become a mass produced piece of cardboard (or canvas in this case?). For heaven's sake, leave the man alone for a damn minute! 

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